Back in 1991, folks didn't have the internet to generate bullshit, nor could they use it to call out some corporation on said bullshit. Back then, you could get away with a four-and-a-half minute mini-infomercial to tout something like Sizzler and what they considered a dynamic new dining concept that they felt was exactly what not-completely-out-of-control-fat-assed-yet America needed.
With slogans like "Sizzler is the choice every day" (which sort of implies a lack of choices, doesn't it?), a "We Are The World"-esque soundtrack (good luck not singing it in your head when it's over), images of food such as "fresh fish" that appears to be stuffed with the insides of old golf balls and populated by people who look like they sprung to life after a folder full of stock photos had chemicals spilled on it and then was struck by lightning, this is truly an epic achievement in the field of complete and utter failure. Because the one we had in Tampa has looked like this for well over ten years now:
|"It's unique! It's bold!" It's closed and has long since been turned into a Chinese buffet!|
Here are some screencaps with even more snarky commentary...